Big Fish RI, Big Fish

Today for the first time in my what, 6 years of working, I was canned, fired, let go or officially "laid off for sales reasons" by some stupid woman from Chow Fun (the corporate office for big fish). Now, not by my manager or anything, she sat there silently looking away from me, didn't say a single word. But thankfully I was paid three hours (minimum wage) for getting fired, that $15 is going to do me real good come time when rent's due. She didn't get any more specific than "sales reasons" so I can either assume its because the restaurant is going down hill quicker than the guys from cool runnings or because my personal sales weren't up to par. Let me just say something about my personal sales. I have had 4 shifts a week for the past month. Three of those shifts have been day shifts where any sales over $200 is something above and beyond. There were days when I personally made $2, for the whole day. After I ran out of there so they wouldn't see me cry I did what any rational just fired 22 year old woman would do, I called my mommy and cried. Now I've cried to a few different people, including my wonderful boyfriend who left work to console me (love you patrick) and now I'm just angry. I want to go beat someone up or something. Maybe not, but I wouldn't mind kicking Kim in the shins. Now I must go on my merry way, although tonight that merry way will be trash talking to restaurant for a while to my customers. Not like it will matter to Big Fish considering nobody goes anyways. Fuckers.

Now that I'm done venting I do have a game plan. That game plan consists of a few good things, first being I have another shift at the bar. I'll be working Sunday night 10-1. Sundays are a good night, its country night! Game plan part two is me going out tomorrow and finally finishing my substitute teaching stuff. Working these day shifts has made it impossible for me to do that. Part three is bothering all those places that I've sent my resumes too (including the one that emailed me back today!). All that along with finding a halloween costume for this weekend and baking a jack-o-lantern cake (thanks for the recipe jess). There is no time for more wallowing, I don't want to waste the energy anyways. Why wallow? I cried a bit, but I hated that place and didn't make any money. This is the great disco ball in the sky's way of saying "Carolyn, get up off your duff and actually do something" Hopefully that something will consist of getting a new job soon that doesn't require black non slip shoes and lots of pens.

All in all I will roll with the punches and be glad that I am out of that horrible place. If you are ever in Providence, do not go to Big Fish. hmph.

I am really starting to hate my working situation. Its frustrating not being able to make enough money to be happy and on top of that be completely dissatisfied with my job. In the past few months I've grown to hate waiting tables more than anything in the world. I dread going to work and know I won't make enough money to do what I need to do. Need prescriptions? well, thats two days worth of tips. Need to go buy groceries? Thats about a week. I've busted my ass trying to find something besides the service industry but its hard. I feel completely beaten down and discouraged. Am I really that worthless of a person? We went out to happy hour with some of patrick's co workers today. The two girls were all cute and professional looking while i was in a t shirt and jeans so I could come home and change for my second shift of the day. Its not that I hate bartending too. The money is great and I have fun. I just wish that two days a week at a bar wasn't my main source of income.

Wingnuts across the country

When I moved up here I totally thought I would be escaping from all the crazy wingnuttery that plagues the South. I figured everyone here would be pro choice and all that good stuff. For the most part everyone is wonderfully open and accepting and well...liberal. Until today. I went into Planned Parenthood today to see if they needed any volunteer work done. I drove up to the clinic and past three older people, two men and a woman. They were holding signs up. I figured at first they were supporting Planned Parenthood, because what else is there to do? Well, unfortunately I was wrong. While there was no yelling and screaming, they all had anti-choice signs and gave me a menacing look when I walked in. I did hold myself back and not say anything or flick them off (which is what I wanted to do). The thing that bothers me is that these people don't take the time to really understand reproductive rights and how important they are. Planned Parenthood doesn't just give out abortions like candy, they do so many other wonderful things. They promote sexual health, which is essential in these times. I wanted to ask the old man holding up a picture of the Virgin Mary if he knew that there have been 83 documented deaths since Nicaragua criminalized abortions. All of them preventable. I highly doubt that he did.

There are so many things I love about living up North. But I guess I have to get used to those crazies being everywhere.

Fall is Upon Us

Yay, fall. Its cold and its dreary. The appeal of pick your own pumpkins slightly diminishes with each dreary and rainy day. But we are going to usher in fall in a totally Prov way, we're going to McCoy stadium to look at tons of jack-o-lanterns. I think they said it was around 5,000. And if we get cold, well thats what the flask is for, right?

As usual work at the restaurant sucked. Well it sucked more than usual. Or stunk with....DEAD MOUSE. I kid you not. I noticed a funky smell over by the linen bag a few days ago and today the manager noticed it too. Luckily she made one of the kitchen guys to head down into a nasty little cubby hole only to realize there was a *eek* mouse trap with a significantly dead mouse in it. Well, at least we found the stinky culprit. Tuesday at the bar I was talking to a guy who said he'd never go back to my restaurant because he saw a mouse. I didn't believe him. He sure showed me right. To top off my smelly day I only made $16 AND i only have 1 night shift a week for the next few weeks. If less than 20 a day won't light a fire under my ass about getting a new job, nothing will. Thanks to my amazing and wonderful best friend's help I sent out a bunch new (and improved) cover letters and this time I'm going to bother people. Dear baby Jesus, I need a real job!

Oh yeah, and hi Uncle Eric if you make it over here.

Long Time

I just finished rereading Chloe Does Yale for about the 8th time. Even though it is (non crappy) chick lit, it always leaves me thinking about life and everything I want from it. It makes me think about something I never really had the self confidence to do, write. I'm not sure what it is about the book that makes me retrospective about my deep down desires, but it does. The thing is back in high school and even for a bit in college people loved my writing. I used to send friends poetry and they enjoyed it and said how good it is. Now, for some reason, I haven't thought about writing poetry. Instead I have another opportunity, there is a writing contest that I am doing with a girlfriend. I made the decision to take the risk and sit at my computer and write, this time a story. 50,000 words is a lot, but I think I might be able to do it and make it enjoyable. Literature is something I have always enjoyed so why not take an active role in something I love? And why not do it with a new found and pretty darn cool friend? So, I'm taking the plunge and its been a long time coming.

Real World: Providence

Newsflash, the real world sucks. Its expensive, its tiring and sometimes all I want are my mommy and daddy. and my dog. There are two issues that constantly get me all riled up, housework and bills. I know, I have finally joined the ranks of adults out there. Well, adults who talk to their mom almost every day. This apartment versus living in the commons brings out a whole new world of housecleaning obstacles. Tuscaloosa was like training camp for having a real apartment, with *gasp* a boy. Maybe its because the apartment is bigger, I really have no idea. But there is alwayssomething to clean. Between washing dishes (no dishwasher), sweeping the floor and cleaning up other crap I feel as if the mess of our place is looming over me constantly. Sometimes I can't sleep, seriously. Don't get me wrong though, its not like I'm doing all the work or anything. That mere thought is laughable. Patrick and I are pretty good about getting things done. He's my automatic dishwasher. I'm the good housewife who cooks.

And bills, the bane of my existence. That and our upstairs neighbors, and my computer. Between the two of us our combined income lands slightly above "flat ass broke" making for an interesting life. I scour the newspaper for coupons, I shop at wal-mart if at all possible. If there's a financial short cut I'll take it. I haven't gotten my hair cut or eaten anything besides the cheapest fare in 3 months. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about our lifestyle, it keeps things interesting. Its just that this stuff's expensive!!! We bought a couch, there goes excessive amounts of money. We have rent, utilities, cell phones and other things to buy like beer. I have a membership at the Y (which i'm still trying to bring myself to use regularly). Life is expensive and sometimes it sucks. At least I got a second job which should make me some decent money. It doesn't help that I'm getting thoroughly frustrated with the job hunt. I'm so tired of waiting tables and the restaurant i'm at doesn't help. All in all, I shouldn't complain too much. We're eating on a regular basis, we're having fun and things are great. I just wouldn't mind if someone threw a few extra grand our way : )

Caution: lots of pictures!

We finally got around to getting our pictures on the computer so now everyone can enjoy!

On our first trip to Boston we bummed around the city for a few hours until we went to watch the alabama game.


thats the Commons, yanno, from make way for duckings! Sadly, there were no ducklings but it was pretty.


Mike's Pastry, the most amazing cannolis in the world. we made a mess but they were so so good.

We also luckily got tickets to the last Yankees/Red Sox game of the season.

yup, i was there. it was pretty much a religious experience.


the game. I screamed my head off, but we still lost, which is okay because we're still going to the playoffs!


right foul pole. thats pretty much where we were sitting, except a little farther up. we're pretty darn cute huh?

last, but not least.

Patrick bought me a stuffed Wally. Thats him on my head under the street sign. Religious experience, i'm telling you.


I've also started a new job, bartending, but still a new job. I trained on sunday and then tonight and tomorrow. its decent and some extra income because lord knows we need it. the never ending search for a big girl job has exhausted me. but i will keep going because lord knows i need something besides the service sector.