In the Ocean State

2008-05-15T06:19:00.000-07:00

Its been a crazy couple of weeks up here in RI. Its almost summer, only 26 days left of school. You would think that with the weather getting warmer, days longer and the prospect of the beach right around the corner everything would be fantastic and wonderful? WRONG! Okay, so life isn't awful, but it sure has been stressful. 6 months into the job its beginning to take a toll on me. I am exhausted, anxious and those three day weekends just aren't doing it for me anymore. Now I really see why this is only a year position. Not that I don't love my job (most of the time), because I do. I love the kids and the girls in the office, but its tough. Its tough working until at least 7 every night, even tougher having kids you care about taken from their home and put in placement. Sometimes I just want to curl up into a ball and hide from everything. But its like Patrick said during our "happy one year anniversary flip out" I have to appreciate the little things. I have to appreciate the fact that Emily's coming to town today. Or that I have great friends in RI. And of course that Patrick and I have been together for a whole year. I also need to remember how much I love my kids and even though its a hard job, its important.

That was enough of a pep talk, I know I feel better. Although I can't promise that I won't loose it at weigh in today if I gain weight. Its just been one of those weeks.

2008-05-04T18:28:00.000-07:00

I have an obsession with blogs, I'll admit it. I love them. I love writing one (obviously) and reading them. Its kinda what I do at work. I peruse blogs when I'm sitting at my desk avoiding work. I have all different ones I read, celebrity gossip, weight watchers, cooking, feminist ones, friends' blogs and of course Sundry who we have been following closely since...oh maybe sophomore year of high school. Every day I have at least 6 that I must, no questions asked, check. Most of them I check more than once a day. I love looking for new blogs to read, usually about anything. While I should be reading the Times, or even CNN.com, I read the superficial and jezebel. But, there are a few good ones that I have tuned into as of late. My new favorite is elastic waist, which is a commentary on body image and weight in pop culture. In my never ending exploration of what I want to be when I grow up I sit at my computer reading blog after blog thinking...hmmm, weight..blogs...English/WS thesis? Junior year of college I took a course on third wave feminism that centered around the narrative. Aren't blogs the new narrative? Blogs say so much about our technology crazed society, both good and bad. I say all this and then think how could i ever compete with the girls at Feministing or Feministe (my two favorite feminist blogs). They have their WS MA from NYU, they went to great schools, they run non profits! I can't even get up the nerve to take my GRE and apply to grad school, if thats even what I want to do. I feel like at 23 I should really know what I want to be when I grow up instead of swinging back and forth between a couple of ideas.

I think my main reason for this new and exciting existential crisis is the fact that I'm starting to get a little burned out at the job. When I started I thought it was absurd that my position was only a year long. Now? Oh boy has my opinion changed. Don't get me wrong, I still love my job and my kids but holy crap do I need a break. Theres so much bad stuff going on it gets to be overwhelming. I'm constantly thinking about my clients and whats going on with their lives. Sometimes I feel like I don't have any room for my own life. It is especially challenging because of my crazy schedule. I'm rarely home before 7 any night (except every other friday and monday!) which leaves no down time. I walk in the door and start dinner. Its not even that I'm working 60+ hours a week, its just weird times. I don't have to go into work until 12 every other day, which is nice, but that gives me most of the morning to sit around the house watching tv. I'd rather (in an ideal world) go in at 9 and be home at a normal hour to do stuff, join a club or something.

2008-04-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

I just had a traumatic experience and I am now in mourning. Last night I made lamb stew for dinner. It was a "good try carolyn" dinner, which means "eh, don't make this again without major alterations." Patrick isn't going to outright complain, but I get it. But back to my story, I had the leftover stew in the crock pot in the fridge. I opened the fridge to make lunch and BOOM the whole thing fell on the floor, spilled and broke. I made a mess, lost at least 2 meals worth of food AND broke my crock pot. I love my crock pot. Nona gave it to me when we moved up here and I use it all the friggin time. This is awful. I just bought a new toaster and now I need a new crock pot. Granted it will be nice to have a bigger one that is a little more...modern. To top it off I had to wash the floor.

2008-04-22T05:21:00.000-07:00

Before I started at the job I didn't really know how I would handle twenty something "at risk" teenagers. My experience consisted of working with kids from upper middle/high class high schools and at risk fifth graders, both worlds away from the population I work with now. I must say I got into my groove pretty quick and I do my job well, fantastic in fact. I'm good, but I'm also firm and strict. There are some things that are constantly coming out of my mouth when I have kids in the car with me. "No" is the first. Somewhere down the line nobody learned that asking once and being told no doesn't really mean no, it means to ask the same question 438920 more times. This is a daily issue. There are also the many versions of "Thats inappropriate" If I had a nickel for every time I had to get onto someone for being inappropriate I would be halfway to Maui by now. Along with "thats inappropriate" is "I don't want to see it/hear it" Don't come into my office and start talking about weed, please. But there are two things that have caught me off guard. Things that never would have occurred to me to say to kids before. "You got your period, woohoo!!" is the first. Seriously? I mean these kids shouldn't be having sex in the first place. Then there is, "Keep it in English please." If you think logically about a couple of middle school boys sitting in my car speaking in Spanish, chances are they are not talking about something I would want to hear. Second, I find it rude. Purposefully excluding one or two people in the car from conversation is rude. They still haven't caught onto that one. Everyone is getting better about being inappropriate, well, most of them just change it over into Spanish. Oh kids, they are wonderful!

2008-04-15T05:39:00.000-07:00

It is one of those tuesday mornings after my long weekend where I just DO NOT want to get out of bed, get my stuff together and get to the gym. Every excuse in the book is running through my head, but (asides the one deal breaker, not finding my flip flops) I will persevere and work out for an hour. Even if I go to work in a not so chipper mood, I'm always happy about tracking by 6. Okay, maybe 6:30, it gives me time to warmed up.

On Friday I spent most of the day in court for two of my clients. It is a world of difference from mock trial, that is for darn sure. First of all nobody dresses up, even the attorneys, one was wearing red patten leather platform shoes. I almost had a heart attack. The clients were even worse. A sweat suit to court???? Its also just downright scary in there. My first client got yelled at and almost taken away. I had to wait hours upon hours for the second one to get seen. Thank goodness I brought snacks and a book or else I would have been crawling up the walls. I saw someone have their kids taken away too, that was sad. Overall it made me thankful for a couple of things, one that I Never got into trouble in high school and two, that I didn't go to law school. I'm much happier working "in the trenches" doing hands on work, trying to keep these kids away from lawyers.

That evening Patrick and I decided to go on a date. Being that we are the absolute cheap skates that we are, we went to Blaze on Thayer because we had gift cards. This is the second time we went and I was completely unimpressed with it the first time around. The service was awful and the food was...ehhh. This time? the service was awful and the fajitas, I could have made better at home. But we had a nice date night and at least it is finally warm enough to walk down to Thayer instead of drive.

Sunday I went up to Boston to help Michelle move some stuff out of her dorm for the summer. She's going to be done with classes in a couple of weeks! Its absurd how early she gets out for the year. I finally got my Wooly Monster back. She has had it since at least October because I brought it up to her one day when she was sick. It might be too warm to really need it, but its nice to have it back. I love it and I don't care what anybody says about it. I'm going to keep it forever.

2008-04-08T15:50:00.000-07:00

There is a very good chance my life may be complete by this summer. Why? New Kids on the Block of course! They are doing a "homecoming" tour in Boston. Oh, I'll be there. Hangin' Tough of course!

Things are starting to pick and and be less blah, mostly because the weather is getting warmer. There are things to do, parks to play in and patios to drink on. Brown's spring fling is even this weekend! I can't wait until its warm enough to take a blanket and the football to the park and spend my sunday afternoon. I know this weekend I am hitting up the flea market, that is if its not raining. RI in the spring/summer is going to be a wonderful thing. There is tons of stuff to do and I absolutely can't wait! Tiff and I were talking about getting roller blades. Hmm, roller blading around the park down the street sounds fun. Roller blading around Prov? Not so fun. I might go get some in the next couple of weeks. There are enough parks and safe-ish places that I could hopefully not kill myself.

2008-04-02T16:56:00.000-07:00

I am at the point where I am so sick and tired of everything that I just want to say "s crew it" to everyone and just stay in bed all day. I'm tried, I'm stressed, Patrick broke the coffee maker this morning and my toaster crapped out. This overtime I am doing isn't that many hours, but it is definitely taking its toll on me. Right now I'd much rather be doing some part time catering instead. It would probably be more money. But instead of moping around the house until i have to go to work, I'm going to the gym to get a good hour and a half work out in! Then I'm going to be smiley and happy at work today. Well, we'll see how weight in goes today. I'm not sure how the losing weight thing has been going this week. I can never tell.

Its kind of depressing how boring and uneventful life is these days. I guess life in the real world isn't always as exciting as I thought it would be. I work, sleep, cook and thats about it. We need to start doing fun and exciting things or else I will even bore myself to death with this thing, and that'd be impressive. Things would be a lot more amusing if i could tell stories about my clients, because I ALWAYS have good ones, but thats kinda against the rules. What can i do to inject some excitement into my life? I'm open for suggestions! Because, seriously, this is ridiculous.

2008-03-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

Spring is in the air which means one thing...BASEBALL SEASON. Since I've moved up here I've been so much more into the Red Sox and I am so freakin excited for the season to start. Baseball season means Red Sox and Red Sox means....

Manny and Jacoby, my two loves. I can't wait to go to a game. AND, michelle got a job at a place right next to Fenway. So even if I can't go to the games I can go hang out there every once in a while and watch. Baseball season rocks!

Since its warm enough, our friendly neighbor, or the guy who owns the neighboring property, decided he needed to make our lives miserable. Our current parking situation is annoying enough, we have to work out three cars with three different schedules getting in and out of the driveway. It was only three because crazy downstairs neighbor went in and out the back because he has an SUV. Well now dude is putting up a wall so he can't get in and out through the way he has been. What does that mean for us? Well, we have 4 cars in three houses with 4 different schedules trying to use one driveway. It doesn't help that we avoid talking to crazy downstairs neighbor at all costs. Currently he's unemployed (again), but his "line of work" is pretending to manage bars and restaurants. Ugh, don't even get me started. On the weeknights Patrick and I pull our cars in no later than 11. We have are the only ones who have something like a normal 9-5 schedule. I have no idea what we're going to do and it is totally stressing me out.

2008-03-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

Easter has come and mostly gone without anything terribly exciting. Honestly, we probably should have gone up to see what Nona was up to today, but alas. Michelle came down last night (finally!) and spent the night. I was stoked to have her see the place and providence. Unfortunately there wasn't a whole lot to do considering it was the night before easter. And today? We went to Borders. Actually, it wasn't sooo boring. We made a nice breakfast and hung out for a while. She got to meet a couple of my friends, including Dave. And in my never ending attempts to be cute and homey, the easter bunny came! Being the easter bunny (and santa of course) is freakin expensive, let me tell you that. But we got the first season of How I Met Your Mother on DVD and (most importantly) scrabble. Patrick and I played a game this evening, i won. It was a pretty low keyed visit, I wish we could have gone to the mall or seen more stuff down town. But I at least got to spend some time with her, and thats the important thing.

Right now I'm contemplating just how early I can get away with going to bed this evening. I am currently dreading waking up in the morning and doing my 9-9 shift. One day off just isn't enough. The only thing that is keeping me going is waiting for my tax return so we can get paid off on everything and *maybe, just maybe* have a little left over, though I'm not holding my breath. I want to have a little more wiggle room than we do right now. As soon as I get paid for my extra hours we can start to save up for other fun things, like a computer we desperately need. Dear god we need a new computer! Hopefully this one will last us another couple of months until we can afford it. The real world sucks

2008-03-20T05:21:00.000-07:00

I thought spring was supposed to be warm and sunny...?

Oh how was I wrong!! There was snow yesterday. And rain. And more rain. And wind, cold. WHEN is the weather going to be nice again???

2008-03-17T10:52:00.000-07:00

Getting your hair cut at a new salon is always a gamble and today, well...I lost. I lost about 5 inches of hair and $80. Being Monday, the place that I wanted to go wasn't open, so I went to this place on Thayer. I figured I could go in, get the haircut I wanted and get my eyebrows done all at the same time. I at least got my eyebrows done even if I didn't get the haircut I wanted. The concept is pretty simple, especially because it is the "in" haircut. I wanted to get what Mindy gave me last time she did my hair. Unfortunately I didn't expect a smelly (seriously, I had to hold my nose while he was washing my hair) man who didn't really understand the words "inverted" and "layers." I want a bob, I want it layered. SIMPLE. He had to go back and fix it twice and I'm still not happy. I'm going to let some friends see it and figure out if i want to go back and pitch a fit or not. He also doubled the price I was told just because he blow dried it. Didn't style, just blow dried. I could have done that at home and walked my ass back down for him to finish cutting it. Now I feel bad because I don't want to go in there and get someone else to fix it if I decide thats what needs to be done. If I do go back, it will probably be on Wednesday and I'll ask for the manager. We'll see what the friends have to say about it. Ugh, I am very very upset right now.

2008-03-13T18:28:00.000-07:00

I have some wonderfully exciting news, Emily is moving back up to Providence in June! I'm so excited about having a best friend here. Its been 6 years since we've lived in the same state. Having her around is going to be amazing. I am in dire need of a good girlfriend. I don't think I've seen any "friends" in 2 weeks, besides dave. Things are frustrating and a little bit lonely these days.

In my never ending effort to keep my checking account balance over zero I've signed up for some extra shifts at work. Tides is forming a bunch of new programs and I'm doing "modified tracking" on my off nights. 2 or 3 nights a week I'm tracking 5 kids in Providence. I did 2 intakes today. Providence kids are a little bit different from my Woonsocket ones, must be the city living. Right now its a mess of confusion and nobody knows whats going on. The other day I went out and bought myself a day planner with hourly slots. In college those things stressed me out, but now with 5 extra kids and all that is involved with that I have to have it. We're running into some serious problems, like not having a work phone for it. It would be almost impossible to have one considering that I'm not passing a phone back and forth between myself and a kid in Pawtucket. Rhode Island maybe be small, but not that small. And gas is friggin expensive. Once I get started, which will be next week, I'm going to be getting about $400 extra a month, which isn't too bad considering I'm just extending my work day from 5 to 7ish. It sucks because that cuts into dinner time and all that, but Patrick and I can just move dinner back a little. I'm going to have to be more creative in preparing food that doesn't take an hour. Nobody likes eating at 9 pm.

The in laws were up this week from South Florida. Patrick's mother and youngest brother came up for spring break. It was a nice trip, especially because she kind of went grocery shopping. We have tons of eggs and milk now at least. That and a chicken carcass I need to boil down. mmm, carcasses! We went up to Boston on Sunday. They decided to do a trolly tour. Unfortunately we weren't on it for very long, but I enjoyed it while we drove around Boston. I learned a couple new things about the city I didn't know. A molasses flood? who knew? We also went to the USS constitution. That is one touristy thing I hadn't done before this past weekend. I surprisingly enjoyed it, even though it was absolutely freezing outside. They also went up to Salem to do some touristy stuff. I couldn't go because it was my Monday on. Everyone sounded like they had a fun time. I hope his mother enjoyed herself and doesn't think I'm too much of a heathen and awful girlfriend for her son.

2008-03-07T15:23:00.001-08:00

I am currently cooking lasagna and chocolate muffins along with trying to clean the house. Patrick's mother and brother are coming in tomorrow for a couple of days and I'm trying to do my best to pretend I am all homey and jazz...HA. I figure make a lasagna, have some chocolate muffins and his mother might overlook some of the lesser aspects of the house. The fact that we don't really have any curtains or the dustiness we just can't get rid of. Its not that I'm nervous, I'm just worried she won't be impressed, or something. They're going to be up here until Wednesday so we have a good couple of days of family time. There's enough of my family around, its good his is coming up. I know we're going to Boston on Sunday, but other than that we have nothing planned. Providence, and RI in general, isn't the most inviting place in the winter. All the good stuff doesn't get started for another month or so. I am going to take half a day on Tuesday to hang out with them and I am at a complete loss of what to do. Movies? Mall? RISD museum? In order not to worry I am going out with Alexis to see Keller Williams tonight(!!!)

I feel kind of strange announcing to the world my weight watchers status, so as of next week just remember I'm on it. From time to time I might update those who don't see me, but thats only if its really good. This week, not really good. Then again, it wasn't really bad either. Nothing, absolutely nothing. I didn't gain or loose. Its partly frustrating, but then again I didn't gain. I will say that I adore our leader and she always has good ideas and recipes.

Making the lifestyle changes required to succeed at WW is tough. The whole counting thing isn't a big deal at all, its changing how I think about food. While I've always *tried* (kinda, sorta, sometimes) to eat relatively healthy, I've made some huge overhauls in my eating habits. Its a constant source of amusement and awe. Grocery shopping is definitely not the same anymore. Unfortunately grocery shopping in Prov is a pain in the ass in and of itself. Adding on being broke AND being on WW its a mammoth undertaking. There are three places to shop in the city (well, pretty much) and it is a distinct hierarchy. Whole Foods, Stop and Shop and Save-A-Lot. I can't afford Whole Foods, Stop and Shop has horrible produce and Save-A-Lot, well...its Save-A-Lot. Never, ever go the first Saturday of the month, its a headache and a half. Instead of dealing with the Stop and Shop I don't like I've taken it upon myself to shop in Woonsocket. Its a little out of my way, but Shaws and Price Rite are totally worth it.

Wow, I really am a middle aged house wife. A post about GROCERY SHOPPING?? I have food on my brain, its really all we do in the office. That and I play scrabulous on Facebook. Tracking is always exciting. It is, sometimes. I've spent the past 3 mornings I've worked running around like a chicken with my head cut off dealing with 5 different schools and making sure all 22 kids aren't in trouble. Its an undertaking to say the least.

But now I have to check my chocolate (and pumpkin) muffins and make the lasagna. Keller Williams calls!

2008-02-29T05:45:00.000-08:00

Patrick and I hit a new milestone in our relationship last night. We got a pet!!! Its name is Wick and....its a FISH. Last night we went for drink to the Wickeden Pub (over 100 varieties of beer!) and I, well dave, won the raffle. Dave's tickets came up twice and I got his second one, a blue fish inside a Crown bottle. Not that it matters because I am even more resolved that I am NOT having kids any time soon. I have heard way too many things about pregnancy and childbirth in the past few weeks. A client told me "I'm still leaking" yesterday in response to me asking if her water broke. Leaking? ewww. I couldn't even bring myself to touch her tummy to feel the baby. No thanks.

Someone once told me that before you have children you must first: adopt a shrub outside for a year, if it lives then get a fake plant. If that lives then get a cactus, if that lives get a plant. Then after that MAYBE a fish. We don't have any shrubs outside our house and the fake plant on the living room table is doing fantastic. So we now have a fish.

Yesterday a did my first weight in at Weight Watchers, 3.6 lbs! I'm pretty excited. I really do like Weight Watchers and the meetings are great. I need to go get a journal so I can write things down that the lady says, along with the recipes. Right now I just need to up my dedication a little bit and make sure I'm not slacking off anywhere, which I know I do.

2008-02-23T06:54:00.000-08:00

I'm back from Bama and my computer is finally working well enough for me to sit down and recap what all happened at home. Overall it was a great trip. The wedding was lovely, hanging out with my family was fantastic. I didn't see as many friends as I wanted to, which is totally my fault. But it was Alabama, home sweet home.

A lot of stuff has changed in the past few months since I moved. Mom has done fantastic things with the house. Breanne moved into the big bedroom upstairs and Mom redid the two little rooms. The front room is an office and Breanne's old room is a guest bedroom, which is lovely. I guess now that Mom is down to one kid instead of 3 she's able to do nicer things like that. In Hoover, a lot of the stuff is still the same. At the high school (yes I went to go say hi) everyone is still there going strong. Construction is STILL ongoing on 150, which I really don't think will ever end. There can't be much progress since I left, what a pain in the ass! Tuscaloosa on the other hand, that has changed a little bit. First of all the Houndstooth is gone!!! I know they are rebuilding, but its awful sad. Thats where Patrick and I met 9 long months ago! We spent the night in Ttown trying to see some old friends. Well, I knew better than to hold my breath for anyone I knew down at school and I was right to. I saw Jen because I went to the bar to see her. Meagan never called me, which really hurt my feelings. Still haven't talked to her. But we drank, hung out with a few of Patrick's friends at the new bar The Red Shed, where I saw a bunch of old friends. The next morning we ate lunch at City Cafe, which was fantastic and packed as ever. I had hamburger steak, creamed corn, okra and something else that I can't remember. And sweet tea, oh how wonderful that was. Its almost impossible to get fresh brewed tea around here. I almost forgot what it tasted like. We also stopped by Mugshots for dinner and BWW to see if anyone was there. I didn't really k now anyone at either of the restaurants. A lot of turn over since I've been gone.

Of course the real reason we went home was for Shayne and Stephanie's wedding. It was...dry. Besides being dry it was pretty and fun, even if we didn't really know anyone. Honestly, we were out of the church within 2 hours and at Ross Bridge (the new nice hotel by my house) in 3. The hotel was gorgeous and there was alcohol, which was the important thing. We drank, hung out and everyone toasted the bride and groom. Asides from a momentary freak out about the tab, we had a great time.

Now its all over and I'm back in Prov where there's 4 inches of snow and at least an inch of ice on the ground. I will admit that I missed work like crazy. Those little buggers get under your skin. I resisted calling the office every day, but I did talk about the kids non stop. What can you say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. I had a snow day yesterday and there's a possibility of having another one today. Yesterday I was in the house ALL DAY and it was absolutely boring. I was about to go stark raving mad. Today I'm not sure what's going on. I very well might have another snow day. Its also freezing so theres a little chance I'm going to walk anywhere and smaller chance that I'm going to drive. I have nothing to read and there's never anything on TV on saturdays. Lets hope for work!

2008-02-04T10:33:00.000-08:00

The housewife inside of me is very very excited, i bought a shark today! Okay, so nobody knows what that is. Its a motorized hokey. Or a very small and rather inexpensive vacuum cleaner that I can use on all the floors in the house. Its kind of awesome, we had them at one of my restaurants.

So the superbowl has come and gone and alas, the Patriots did not get their undefeated season. It was a very upsetting time had by all the fans. Even if we didn't win and Patrick did many a happy dances (he's a HUGE giants fan), my food went over well and was all WW friendly! We went to our friend Chris's house for it last night and it was fun. I cuddled on the couch with Diane and read my book until the game got interested. I will admit it, I have a short attention span when it comes to televised sports. This weekend was pretty much a bum-tastic weekend. I hung out by myself all friday night and it was glorious. It was one of those nights when I just enjoyed my own company. Well, myself and guitar hero which i played for a good 2 hours. But after today I will be good and ready to get back to work. Three days off just gets boring at about 3 on Monday.

Over the past few month's I've realized I'm turning into a Rhode Islander. Not that I'm willing to loose my accent or other little southern habits, but there I have tons of things I do now like.....
-Driving : Passing to the right is perfectly acceptable, even encouraged.
Anything farther than 10 minutes is a trek and is avoided at all costs
- I've gotten my eyebrows threaded, its fantastic!
- I can pronounce the weird RI town names...Woonsocket, Pawtucket
- I've eaten a weiner (in Woonsocket, which is supposed to be the best too!) with meat sauce and celery salt
- I have said "Nosuh!" in conversation, embarrassingly enough
- I will still order iced coffee even if its freezing outside
- Ocean State Job Lot is my FAVORITE store
- I don't go to Starbucks, I go to Dunkin Donuts
- And even I really like Buddy and hope he runs again

2008-01-30T08:01:00.000-08:00

In the past month I've been trying to mildly alter the way I live my overall life. I'm making some improvements that are long overdue. Either that or I'm on a diet. But its not really a diet because diets don't work, weight watchers does. Who hasn't seen those commercials? Unfortunately because (surprise) I have a lack of disposable income, I'm doing it kind of weight watchers light. I am counting points and all that, just not going to the meetings, or paying for it. The whole point of weight watchers is the community and you loose more when you have support and all that jazz. For right now I have enough support in the office. Its a group effort and we're in it together, some doing better than others. Overall its an easy thing to live by. Its portion control and watching what you eat. I've already noticed a little bit of a difference in my body. I'm fitting into some things I haven't been able to in the past 6 or so months, woohoo! I'm also going to the gym three or so times a week. I was supposed to go this morning but its dreary and rainy outside and I am definitely not that dedicated yet. But I have to go early Friday morning for a personal training session to figure out what I need to be doing to start really loosing weight. This all goes back to my New Years resolution, "Do what you say you're going to do." I'm working on my eating habits and going to the gym.

While there is nothing but love in the office, outside the office I want to bang my head against the wall. And by outside I mean the kids. Somebody really dropped the ball when teaching most of these kids the idea of respect towards anyone, not just authority figures. I'm not used to being called a fucking bitch to my face, nor being called fat by a 15 year old boy. That was my day yesterday. I got called fat twice (it was a general comment towards everyone in the room, but still. Seriously, that kind of talk is unacceptable and will NOT be tolerated (thats pretty much what I say to them). My thing is, even if a kid in the south would talk to me like that they'd still turn around and say ma'am afterwards. Its just a different way of thinking down there. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. Its just that things can be trying every once in a while. They've lived tough lives and breaking down the barriers is a long and arduous process. But I'm off to do it all over again until late tonight. *sigh* Somedays I wish I just was waiting tables. At least you could be mean back to the people!

2008-01-27T14:46:00.000-08:00

Another birthday has come and gone. People wonder why I have serious anxiety when trying to do something with lots of people like my birthday or a party. Its because things like last night happen. While it wasn't a repeat of graduation night or anything, I am still not happy with some of my friends. We had made plans and at the last minute they decided they wanted to go somewhere else, so they did. I still had Patrick and three other friends. We had a bunch of fun at the place we went to. It was fantastically horrible, but still a blast. Then we went and played scatagories, which isn't a great idea after drinking. Well, its all over and done with now. Not much I can do about anything.

Now I'm just counting down the days until I get to go back to Birmingham for a long weekend. Not that I have high hopes of seeing anyone while in Tuscaloosa, because honestly, my track record for friends down there is less than perfect. Everyone knows I'll be there and I said I'd try to call people but I'm not going to hold my breath. I just want to go hang out with my family and at least see tuscaloosa. Even if it is just me and Patrick out down there it will be okay.

2008-01-23T20:18:00.000-08:00

Today was a very happy day in our little household. Six months after being "moved in" we finally got our bed frame. Yes, now our bed is off the cold floor and our room looks less like a cell and more like, yanno, a bedroom. I am terribly excited and now I might actually make an effort to decorate it. That is if I ever have enough money. But thats a whole 'nother story. I want to run to home goods and all those good stores and buy up all the brown and gold stuff I can find. Maybe tomorrow, after all it is MY BIRTHDAY!

Right now my birthday plans consist of hanging out with Patrick tomorrow night, Mike on Friday and then everyone else on Saturday for the real shindig. We're going to gussy up and head out to Prov, which is a local club. I've never been there but its past time to diversify our drinking locations, seriously. I don't think we've been to a new bar since...October I believe. We are in a serious alcohol rut. All will be well come Saturday night. I'm excited about the festivities, I'm even thinking about trying to do a VIP thing if it doesn't cost too much money. I am going to call tomorrow night.

Its strange, I'm constantly thinking about things to post about, writing them in my head and whatnot, then as soon as I get around to sitting at the computer my mind goes completely blank. What else is going on in Caro-world? I am slowly but surely turning into a middle aged housewife. This past weekend I added knitting onto my list of old lady activities. Okay, so cooking and watching Medium in and of themselves, not so bad. When you mix in some knitting? Well, lets just say I need to get out more. Even if it is just to a friend's house to ...knit. I bought a book about knitting so I can do more than complete the "scarf" that I'm working on. We'll see if it turns out into something more than a yard of knitted ickiness soon. I plan on going to the knitting store down the street from me this week to see if there are any classes. According to my grandmother I have a marginable amount of talent and I enjoy it. I figure why the hell not? Speaking of being a housewife, I have 2 great new websites for shopping that I've stumbled across (one I found in Real Simple magazine, my new favorite next to cooking light) www.thecompanystore.com and www.uncommongoods.com. They're awesome.

The job has been job like. There's not too much I can talk about here, considering confidentiality and all that. It might be the most trying thing I've ever done. These kids are TOUGH. They're all awesome, but sometimes I can't wait until my 3 day weekend without the phone. Drama and stuff going on is never ending. I am beginning to understand why this position is only a year. And they definitely don't pay us nearly enough. But this is a great job to do while I make those big decisions about my life, like what I'm going to be when I grow up. At the current moment I'm leaning back towards teaching high school english. Maybe thats what I'm really meant to do. I'm beginning to think so.

One last thing, I have new phone and for some reason all my numbers weren't saved on my SIM card. I need pretty much everyone's number. Yeah, I suck.

2008-01-08T07:05:00.000-08:00

Right now it is a positively warm 59 degrees outside at 10 in the morning. in january. I am officially loving this weather and plan on enjoying it for the next few days. This means there will be no bundling up, i can wear shoes other than my 2 pairs of boots and short sleeve shirts!! Absolutely fantastic. Of course this lovely weather is going to end with rain and then more snow. Such is life in New England I guess.

This weekend we didn't do much to enjoy the weather. Luckily I was off but the only thing I really did was help patrick out and work the raffle at brown. Basically I'm the best girlfriend in the world, and I made $15. On Sunday we had a much more active day. I made a whole turkey dinner and we had friends over. I cooked everything from scratch, including the gravy. Things turned out fantastically and I am so proud of myself. We also broke out the board games along with watching the premiere of American Gladiators. I love the fact that we can get together with friends and play Scrabble and Scatagories and (most) everyone is happy. The premiere of American Gladiators was pretty awesome too. There was a lot of screaming, yelling and cheering. Overall the show gets thumbs up, at least until we get sick of it. The day was nice, kind of like being a kid again. What is more iconic than our childhood than American Gladiators? The show changed a bit from the original, but it was totally worth it.

Right now we have a lot of things in the working for this upcoming month. It amazes me how busy we get! We're trying to plan a bowling night, roller skating night along with all the normal weekend stuff we try to get in. On top of that Patrick and I are going to see Spamalot in Boston AND we'll be having company for a few days. And of course my birthday! Being a grown up kind of rocks, especially when I have such wonderful friends. Of course, being a grown up is calling me right now, I have to leave for work. Going back after the 3 day weekend is always hard. Especially because I don't have to be there until noon. But my children need me and I have to go to the gym this evening after work.

2007-12-30T07:20:00.001-08:00

In an excessive attempt to catch up I figured I'd remove myself from position of "lurker" at Sundry's blog. And Christmas was so busy and crazy that I don't have the time to recap right now. But it was great. So for the 2007 Wrap Up

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before? 

The past 6 months have been full of stuff I have never done before. Moving, moving in with a boy, getting a new job, starting from scratch at a new place.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 

If I made one I know it was to lose weight, that didn't happen. But I did just join a new gym that I'll actually go to

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? 

No, that will be next year

4. Did anyone close to you die? 
Thankfully no.

5. What countries did you visit? 
Yet again I haven't made it out of the country. Once Patrick and I are up and running with some disposable income there are numerous places I want to go.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? 
The confidence in myself that I can make a difference at my job. I was so convinced I would never get one that now I'm focusing on what I can do to help these kids.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 
A-day game, when I met Patrick. Graduation, duh graduation. And that was when we go together. Basically a whole lot of Patrick!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? 
Finding the courage to take a huge risk in my life and come to Prov.

9. What was your biggest failure? 
There are a few relationships that I failed at this past year. Letting people get too far away for one reason or another.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? 
Once again, I have been lucky asides the few scrapes and bruises

11. What was the best thing you bought? 
Probably the couch, its still fantastic.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? 
Locally, I would have to say Patti from my work. She's on sabbatical from her corporate job to come hang out with us at Tides. On a grander scheme? There are so many people to choose from. I would have to say the amazing women at the blogs I read, feministing and feministe (and Sundry of course!)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? 
I'll admit it, Britney Spears and many other celebrities. I am obsessed with all that trash.

14. Where did most of your money go? 
Hm, rent, food, realizing I'm in the real world now.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? 
The past 6 months have been nothing but excitement! Apartment, boyfriend, job, friends. I kind of live an exciting life : )

16. What song will always remind you of 2007? 
You know, thats really hard to decide. I'm going to have to think on that.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  a) happier or sadder?  b) thinner or fatter?  c) richer or poorer? 
a?happier definitely b) probably fatter yet, but I am seriously working on it. c) I can't really compare because the whole college/real world thing and waitressing/real job.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? 
Working out, studying (actually getting that paper published). Other than really working out, I'm happy with what I did.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? 
Okay, well maybe less physically destructive acts. Yanno, smoking and all that.

20. How did you spend Christmas? 
With Barb and my family up in Mass.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007? 
Duh! Most amazingly

22. What was your favorite TV program? 
The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother are my new favorites

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? 
Hate is a strong word. In my personal life? Not really. Politically? Pretty much all of the Republican Presidential candidates.

24. What was the best book you read? 
Mists of Avalon in my Arthurian legend class most likely.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? 
Oh, I've made a few over the past few weeks. I would have to say my fav right now is Sarah Bareilles.

26. What did you want and get? 
A big girl job! And a coffee maker from my mom.

27. What did you want and not get? 
A multitude of other big girl jobs, and a whole lot of non earth shattering stuff.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? 
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 
Jess came down and we went out then to the SAE house. That was a rough yet amazingly fun night with great friends!!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? 
If I would have gotten rid of major emotional baggage much much sooner.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? 
"Whatever's on sale at the mall"?
32. What kept you sane? 
The roomies in Tuscaloosa and Patrick

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? 
There are so many. Right now I'm in love with Jennifer Love Hewitt

34. What political issue stirred you the most? 
There were so many. The Jena 6 was really important to me, along with my normal political leanings and issues.

35. Who did you miss? 
everyone. Mom, Dad, Breanne, Jessica, Emily, Martha, Katie, and pretty much everyone south of the Mason Dixon!

36. Who was the best new person you met? 
Hands down, Patrick. But if I have to diversify my answers a little but I have to say that I have met some great people who are amazing friends up here in Prov.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007. 
That I'm not as much of a failure as I thought I was. There are things I can do if I actually put my mind to it. And risks aren't always so big and scary to take.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.

-Sylvia Plath. While its not a song lyric (I'll think one up) it is one a quote that has described me for a really long time. Now that I read it, the sentiment of that quote isn't who I am anymore. While I am still neurotic to some degree. Its not the same mass confusion about who I am and the whole concept of mutually assured (I always thing destruction). I can see how my life is full of compromises and every once in a while concessions. But I'm so much happier for it.

Happy New Year everyone.

2007-12-19T07:23:00.000-08:00

I am having serious issues dealing with the winter wonderland that is upon us right now. Will this snow EVER melt? It was fun until I had to shovel and spend 45 minutes getting my car out of the driveway. And the slipping. Even with my rocking new boots I sill manage to bust my butt once in a while. Okay, it is pretty and playing in the snow on Thursday was fun. If I didn't spend half my time in my car things would be so much prettier. With the way its looking right now we might actually have a white Christmas. While I'm not going home *sigh* I am looking forward to Christmas. Besides the 4 whole days off Barb is coming up from DC. We're going to see some family on Christmas and just bum around here.

I know I haven't been blogging as much as I should have. There have been other things that are mildly addicting, including Facebook Scrabble. Speaking of Scrabble, Sunday night we had a Christmas party at the house. Everything turned out fantastic. There were about 10ish people over and we had a blast. The food was great. I made so many different fun things and everyone loved it all. It was really nice to be able to hang out with a bunch of our friends when it wasn't bar people or athletic dept people. Mixing different groups is the whole reason for Christmas parties. That and alcohol, which we didn't go through much of since it was sunday night and everyone had to be at work/school early. Since Monday I managed to give away most of the left over dessert and now I'm working on the chicken wings (so good) and veggies. When I realized I wasn't going to be going to Alabama for Christmas I worried I wouldn't enjoy the season, but I really really am up here. Besides the fact that I miss everyone like crazy, we're having so much fun. Barb and I will probably go up to Boston to see everything decorated and Prov is also really pretty. All is well here.

I know everyone has loved hearing about my fantastic new job. Right now all I can think about is THREE FULL DAYS OFF this weekend. I have to track tonight and my cold is getting progressively more gross and I feel horribly achy. If I could just stay in bed and sleep today life would be perfect. But alas, we have to wrap presents for everyone and I get to go play in the snow this evening and then go home and cook for our work party tomorrow. On a happy, very happy note, Patrick and I are opening presents tonight!!!! I see a little blue box with a pretty little bow under our Charlie Brown Christmas tree for me!!!! Very very excited.

2007-12-10T17:29:00.000-08:00

Patrick and I went out looking for Christmas lights tonight only to be completely disappointed. Not many of the houses around us had any lights up and the ones that did were unremarkable. I am getting my fill of christmas lights in Woonsocket though. Some of those houses are absolutely crazy. Speaking of Woonsocket, I start tracking on my own tomorrow. I'm done with training and will be out in the wild by myself. I'm excited, but also a bit worried about getting around unaided. We'll see how it goes. I already have a few kids coming in the car so hopefully they will help me out a little bit.

In other news Christmas is coming up and I'm full steam ahead with plans. We have the apartment decorated all festive-y with our little Charlie Brown 3 ft fake tree. It has lights and presents underneath so deal. Right now we're pretty far from rolling in the dough. Yes, we can't even spend the extra $15 to get a normal tree. The tree is nice and I got pine scented candles so it at least smells like there's a tree in the apartment. I also have some of my christmas shopping done. I spent the afternoon yesterday down in Warwick hitting up some of the shops and the mall down there. That is after a good 30 minute detour getting lost. Right now I have Patrick, mom and Breanne done. Yikes, I still have tons of things to buy and barely enough money to do it. Besides being broke I also finally found a pair of winter boots that I love, so I had to buy them. Merrill boots for $50? No question there. All warm and fuzzy AND waterproof. I don't want to take them off. This week I'm also planning a little Christmas get together. The only way I figure its feasible is to provide the food and get everyone to bring alcohol. Its not sooo bad. And I have a nice menu of stuff including Connie's Golden Graham thingies that rock. Inexpensive food and decorations from the dollar store. Man, I rock.

There is so much to do and I don't even know where to start. Christmas is around the corner and I have no clue when it comes to about half of my presents. What to get Patrick's boss and his wife? What about the neighbors (who i am good friends with)? Then there are the traditional hard gifts, Dad, Emily (not hard, just I want to find something good). All this stuff stresses me out. Maybe if I actually had money. Such is Christmas I guess.

My food adventures are also exciting as usual. My upstairs neighbor made a comment about how coming up the stairs always smells good. I proceeded to offer her chicken and dumplings. For my first endeavor it was pretty good. The dumplings weren't very dumpling-y and I needed more veggies and seasoning. But a good first try. There is also the soup. Holy crap this stuff is good. I got it from work, my co worker Tiffany made it and I got the recipe. Its just a veggie soup with some Lipton's chicken noodle mix in it. LOTS of veggies. It might be the most amazing thing on the face of the earth, seriously. I'm getting more and more into cooking. Its just a great way to be creative and its relaxing. Tonight we went out for dinner because we ran out of meat in the house and there wasn't really any protein at all. We went for gyros (not so good). It was probably the first time in a few weeks, maybe 3 or 4 that we have been out to dinner. Not so bad. Now I kind of actually want to puke. We also went to Whole Foods and split a slice of cake. Good but very rich.

2007-12-06T07:51:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to figure out what exactly I need to do to keep our living room warm. I walked out there to drink my coffee and watch the news this morning after Patrick left and it had to have been at LEAST 10 degrees colder than the rest of the house. We have a bunch of windows including one big one. Ugh, like I can afford to buy curtains right now. Like I can afford to buy anything...but I digress.

Tonight I get to start my tracking. Not by myself, but at least I'm driving. Last night I made it to the high school and back without any help! I have to clean out my car and I'm going to drive everyone around tonight. Sucks for who ever's in the back though. Hopefully we can get through the evening without any of the fun we've been having lately. Tracking and outreach, you never know what these kids will be up to.

2007-12-01T17:00:00.000-08:00

I am currently wearing my jacket, scarf AND a blanket while sitting at the computer. yes, it is that cold. to be exact, 22 degrees. for some strange reason the warmest room in the house right now is the bathroom. I'm seriously considering bundling up and chilling out in the tub with a book. Its cold enough that even with the space heater on in the living room that I had to turn on the heat. I may be all about saving money and the environment, but 22 degrees? That is no joke. The fun and games are over, its officially winter and I am super jealous of patrick for going to Florida for christmas. right now it looks like I'm going to my uncle's to hang out with them. Well, I hope so because they will be the only people around.

Even now there are little things I'm still learning about RI. Last night Patrick and I went over to a friend's house and it was our job to buy beer. That would have been all well and good except you a) can't buy beer anywhere but liquor stores and b) they all close at 10 ON A FRIDAY! Is that not the most absurd thing? It's bad enough that the liquor stores have a monopoly on beer and whatnot, but closing so early? Its a conspiracy I tell you!! So we all ended up playing Catchphrase and hanging out. Tonight is a friend's birthday party so we're going to this cool new bar. I'm supposed to be dressing up but I'm conflicted about wearing a dress, ITS TOO COLD. I am not exactly sure what I'm going to do because currently I don't have any desire to change out of my sweats which are nice and warm.

I also finished my first week of work yesterday. Actually, I didn't even go into the office. Instead I stayed in Pawtucket doing classes. I pretty much have classes up the wazoo this month for training. Its not bad, they aren't too boring and rather informative. Any extra certification I can get is a-okay to me. I'm hoping that I will start tracking by myself not this week but next week. The only thing I worry about is getting around Woonsocket. There are a few houses I can get to, but overall I'm still having trouble getting around. One of my clients said she would come with my my first night out because she knows all the houses. I gladly accepted her offer. It doesn't hurt that she's a complete darling. They are all pretty cool and I love it. Its kind of absurd how excited and happy I am about the new job. The money thing is also nice, but the main thing is that I'm out in the community doing something. After all my searching and feeling bad for myself and all that, I finally found something that I am not only good at, but I love. We're thinking about trying to start a homework help group once or twice a week. I might give it a few weeks and then email one of my old teachers from UHP and ask her for her advice. That's her big deal down in Tuscaloosa. Maybe it would even be an opportunity for me to learn some grant writing. They have a book at the library and I could email Star. It's something I need to learn how to do anyway if I'm going to stay in this line of work. Non profit work is a bitch man.

2007-11-27T19:28:00.000-08:00

I am two days into the new job and I have nothing but good things to say about it. The office is in a new building in Woonsocket. We are basically tenants in another social service program's building, but we have a cute little office where I have my own desk and computer. There are two others with me, Tiffany who is the other tracker and Erin who is our supervisor. They are both super cool and I get along well with them. For the next few weeks I am going to be training, which means I'm going to follow Tiffany around everywhere she goes. The main thing I'm worried about is learning my way around Woonsocket. While its not a big area that I'm covering, learning a new town is never fun. I'm also learning so much, even in the past few days. This week and next week I have a bunch of classes to go to near my house, PTSD, family services and the like. Classes are always good. The more I learn the better job I can get next time around. There is so much to learn and so many people to meet. Right now I'm just so excited to actually be doing something amazing with my life. I think this is going to be a very frustrating but rewarding job.

2007-11-26T05:09:00.000-08:00

I know it seems really self centered to not post for a month then BAM come back and do my christmas list. but, alas, it is how it must be done. its all i have time for right now and patrick needs it. so does my mother i guess too. i'd have more time to catch everyone up on the wonderfulness of life but i have to GO TO WORK. seriously, real work. I'm starting today in Woonsocket as a Tracking and Outreach Manager. Its hard to describe what I'll be doing, basically hanging out with kids and making sure they aren't in trouble. I'm super excited. The one thing I'm worried about that they don't tell you in college is what am I supposed to do? This isn't like coming into a new restaurant job, this is the real world. My outfit right now *I hope* is right in the middle of business casual and casual, kinda like the office. Today is definitely a cardigan day. Do I bring my lunch? A coffee mug? paper? pens? AHHH!! I'll figure it out and everyone in the office is super cool.

But onto my list so I can finish getting ready for work!

duvet cover - something like that-
a href="http://www.classicduvets.com/styledetail.asp?cid="246" I like the brown and gold.

bare minerals starter set (fair) - I think its cheapest on qvc.com or at Sephora

A new George Forman (or the Brevelle indoor grill from W/S)

A wallet that I can carry my check book around in

New knives, only a chef's knife and pairing knife

coffee tumbler for work

calender

tickets to spamalot or riverdance up here. there are so many good shows coming!

and always, clothes and jewlery

Ugh, I have more. I'll come back and edit. Right now I need to figure out what shoes I am going to wear.

2007-11-07T13:23:00.000-08:00

The nice warm weather is on the express train out of Providence and surrounding areas. And by express train I mean the high tonight is 30 and there might be frost/snow this weekend. We haven't quite yet turned on the heat but we're going to fire up the space heater Nona gave us a few weeks ago. Walking around in this chilly weather is no picnic, especially home from the gym. Being sweaty and in shorts is no fun in the wind, even the 3 block walk I have. Even though, I refuse to let the cold weather stop me from working my butt off at the gym, I'm starting (I think) to see results! The excessive home cooking is helping too. Tomorrow I'm going to make barley soup, yum!

So, I'm employed! Okay, maybe not a full time job yet, but I have a part time job at the mall and I'm doing some per diem work for a human services staffing company. I also have a second interview at a group home that I really really want. And I have another interview tomorrow. All in all I'm feeling a lot better and a LOT less stressed than I have been.

In the past few months I've realized something about myself...dear lord i'm turning into my mother! Not like that's a bad thing, she's a pretty cool chick. And I wouldn't mind looking like her when I'm her age (which is not a day past 30ish : )~ )

see what I mean? But, as I was saying, certain things are becoming frighteningly familiar. Last time I talked to martha we spent most of our time discussing food shopping and cooking, what's cheap, what's good, what's not time consuming. Okay, maybe that's not all my mother but it is a little "wow, I'm a grown up" ish. Also, some of the simple pleasures in life I realize I get from my mom. Tuesday Morning? YAY!!! Kirklands? unfortunately I looked and there's not one around here (thats totally mom). I try to make Patrick eat more vegetables and I have turned into a huge patriots fan. Yup, I'm turning into my mother. Lord help us all!

2007-11-04T11:14:00.000-08:00

Around here people don't understand college football at all. Besides the occasional BC fan, nobody has a team and schools don't do football the way we do it down south. Our friend Laura came over to watch some of the game with us and she was amazed by Bryant-Denny on TV. Brown has a few sets of bleachers, so its definitely different. We spend a lot of our time yelling at the tv, because thats what you do when you watch football. There was yelling, screaming, cursing and breaking out into cheers and the fight song. A good 20 minutes after Laura left us (and we had just scored a touchdown) we got a knock on the door. I was closest and didn't even get up because I assumed it was a friend or neighbors. Oh, it wasn't...it was a cop! He looked at us sitting on the couch and asked if everything was okay. We were both highly confused and said yes, we're watching football and our team is winning. The cop proceeded to tell us that he had a call and just wanted to make sure everything was alright. Well, at that moment everything was alright because we were winning by 10 points or so. He left and I went upstairs to see if it was them who called us. I knew it wasn't carmie and john because even if they were home they'd just come upstairs and see what was going on. Our upstairs neighbor Tom answered the door and I asked him if he called the cops, he did. Not because we were too loud, but because he heard yelling. I'm not sure about you, but every domestic dispute I hear about has cheering and singing of fight songs. I mean seriously. But whatever, it was pretty darn funny and my dad was right, at least they are concerned. I laughed so hard I cried a little bit. And if he ever tries to tell us that we're too loud I will start to tally the nights I can't sleep because they're too loud at 2:00AM. Take that dirty hippies.

2007-11-02T07:10:00.001-07:00

So, now am I not only mostly unemployed, I am completely, utterly, no income whatsoever unemployed. Last night I got laid off, again. Seriously, no joke. I have no job, no nothing besides bills and an empty fridge. The good news is that Dunkin Donuts is hiring all over the place. That'd be awesome. Pretty much I need something like crazy. Luckily our friend Laura gave me some lady's info so hopefully I can baby sit for something like $15 an hour. I was told when I started at Liquid I would get screwed over and I should have known. Its not necessarily my manager who is doing it, it very well might be the owner. I mean, I am lowest on the totem pole, aesthetically and experience wise. Its slow and the owner says that someone has to go and of course that one is me. Right now it looks like I have to redouble my efforts and then go panhandle on the street for money to pay bills.

I love my life.

2007-11-01T16:10:00.000-07:00

I'm alive.

There are pictures coming.

I still have no job.

Patrick is playing with the electric knife.

....life is good : )~ more later I promise

Big Fish RI, Big Fish

2007-10-23T14:32:00.000-07:00

Today for the first time in my what, 6 years of working, I was canned, fired, let go or officially "laid off for sales reasons" by some stupid woman from Chow Fun (the corporate office for big fish). Now, not by my manager or anything, she sat there silently looking away from me, didn't say a single word. But thankfully I was paid three hours (minimum wage) for getting fired, that $15 is going to do me real good come time when rent's due. She didn't get any more specific than "sales reasons" so I can either assume its because the restaurant is going down hill quicker than the guys from cool runnings or because my personal sales weren't up to par. Let me just say something about my personal sales. I have had 4 shifts a week for the past month. Three of those shifts have been day shifts where any sales over $200 is something above and beyond. There were days when I personally made $2, for the whole day. After I ran out of there so they wouldn't see me cry I did what any rational just fired 22 year old woman would do, I called my mommy and cried. Now I've cried to a few different people, including my wonderful boyfriend who left work to console me (love you patrick) and now I'm just angry. I want to go beat someone up or something. Maybe not, but I wouldn't mind kicking Kim in the shins. Now I must go on my merry way, although tonight that merry way will be trash talking to restaurant for a while to my customers. Not like it will matter to Big Fish considering nobody goes anyways. Fuckers.

Now that I'm done venting I do have a game plan. That game plan consists of a few good things, first being I have another shift at the bar. I'll be working Sunday night 10-1. Sundays are a good night, its country night! Game plan part two is me going out tomorrow and finally finishing my substitute teaching stuff. Working these day shifts has made it impossible for me to do that. Part three is bothering all those places that I've sent my resumes too (including the one that emailed me back today!). All that along with finding a halloween costume for this weekend and baking a jack-o-lantern cake (thanks for the recipe jess). There is no time for more wallowing, I don't want to waste the energy anyways. Why wallow? I cried a bit, but I hated that place and didn't make any money. This is the great disco ball in the sky's way of saying "Carolyn, get up off your duff and actually do something" Hopefully that something will consist of getting a new job soon that doesn't require black non slip shoes and lots of pens.

All in all I will roll with the punches and be glad that I am out of that horrible place. If you are ever in Providence, do not go to Big Fish. hmph.

2007-10-18T16:12:00.001-07:00

I am really starting to hate my working situation. Its frustrating not being able to make enough money to be happy and on top of that be completely dissatisfied with my job. In the past few months I've grown to hate waiting tables more than anything in the world. I dread going to work and know I won't make enough money to do what I need to do. Need prescriptions? well, thats two days worth of tips. Need to go buy groceries? Thats about a week. I've busted my ass trying to find something besides the service industry but its hard. I feel completely beaten down and discouraged. Am I really that worthless of a person? We went out to happy hour with some of patrick's co workers today. The two girls were all cute and professional looking while i was in a t shirt and jeans so I could come home and change for my second shift of the day. Its not that I hate bartending too. The money is great and I have fun. I just wish that two days a week at a bar wasn't my main source of income.

Wingnuts across the country

2007-10-15T07:42:00.001-07:00

When I moved up here I totally thought I would be escaping from all the crazy wingnuttery that plagues the South. I figured everyone here would be pro choice and all that good stuff. For the most part everyone is wonderfully open and accepting and well...liberal. Until today. I went into Planned Parenthood today to see if they needed any volunteer work done. I drove up to the clinic and past three older people, two men and a woman. They were holding signs up. I figured at first they were supporting Planned Parenthood, because what else is there to do? Well, unfortunately I was wrong. While there was no yelling and screaming, they all had anti-choice signs and gave me a menacing look when I walked in. I did hold myself back and not say anything or flick them off (which is what I wanted to do). The thing that bothers me is that these people don't take the time to really understand reproductive rights and how important they are. Planned Parenthood doesn't just give out abortions like candy, they do so many other wonderful things. They promote sexual health, which is essential in these times. I wanted to ask the old man holding up a picture of the Virgin Mary if he knew that there have been 83 documented deaths since Nicaragua criminalized abortions. All of them preventable. I highly doubt that he did.

There are so many things I love about living up North. But I guess I have to get used to those crazies being everywhere.

Fall is Upon Us

2007-10-11T15:40:00.001-07:00

Yay, fall. Its cold and its dreary. The appeal of pick your own pumpkins slightly diminishes with each dreary and rainy day. But we are going to usher in fall in a totally Prov way, we're going to McCoy stadium to look at tons of jack-o-lanterns. I think they said it was around 5,000. And if we get cold, well thats what the flask is for, right?

As usual work at the restaurant sucked. Well it sucked more than usual. Or stunk with....DEAD MOUSE. I kid you not. I noticed a funky smell over by the linen bag a few days ago and today the manager noticed it too. Luckily she made one of the kitchen guys to head down into a nasty little cubby hole only to realize there was a *eek* mouse trap with a significantly dead mouse in it. Well, at least we found the stinky culprit. Tuesday at the bar I was talking to a guy who said he'd never go back to my restaurant because he saw a mouse. I didn't believe him. He sure showed me right. To top off my smelly day I only made $16 AND i only have 1 night shift a week for the next few weeks. If less than 20 a day won't light a fire under my ass about getting a new job, nothing will. Thanks to my amazing and wonderful best friend's help I sent out a bunch new (and improved) cover letters and this time I'm going to bother people. Dear baby Jesus, I need a real job!

Oh yeah, and hi Uncle Eric if you make it over here.

Long Time

2007-10-06T09:21:00.000-07:00

I just finished rereading Chloe Does Yale for about the 8th time. Even though it is (non crappy) chick lit, it always leaves me thinking about life and everything I want from it. It makes me think about something I never really had the self confidence to do, write. I'm not sure what it is about the book that makes me retrospective about my deep down desires, but it does. The thing is back in high school and even for a bit in college people loved my writing. I used to send friends poetry and they enjoyed it and said how good it is. Now, for some reason, I haven't thought about writing poetry. Instead I have another opportunity, there is a writing contest that I am doing with a girlfriend. I made the decision to take the risk and sit at my computer and write, this time a story. 50,000 words is a lot, but I think I might be able to do it and make it enjoyable. Literature is something I have always enjoyed so why not take an active role in something I love? And why not do it with a new found and pretty darn cool friend? So, I'm taking the plunge and its been a long time coming.

Real World: Providence

2007-10-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

Newsflash, the real world sucks. Its expensive, its tiring and sometimes all I want are my mommy and daddy. and my dog. There are two issues that constantly get me all riled up, housework and bills. I know, I have finally joined the ranks of adults out there. Well, adults who talk to their mom almost every day. This apartment versus living in the commons brings out a whole new world of housecleaning obstacles. Tuscaloosa was like training camp for having a real apartment, with *gasp* a boy. Maybe its because the apartment is bigger, I really have no idea. But there is alwayssomething to clean. Between washing dishes (no dishwasher), sweeping the floor and cleaning up other crap I feel as if the mess of our place is looming over me constantly. Sometimes I can't sleep, seriously. Don't get me wrong though, its not like I'm doing all the work or anything. That mere thought is laughable. Patrick and I are pretty good about getting things done. He's my automatic dishwasher. I'm the good housewife who cooks.

And bills, the bane of my existence. That and our upstairs neighbors, and my computer. Between the two of us our combined income lands slightly above "flat ass broke" making for an interesting life. I scour the newspaper for coupons, I shop at wal-mart if at all possible. If there's a financial short cut I'll take it. I haven't gotten my hair cut or eaten anything besides the cheapest fare in 3 months. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about our lifestyle, it keeps things interesting. Its just that this stuff's expensive!!! We bought a couch, there goes excessive amounts of money. We have rent, utilities, cell phones and other things to buy like beer. I have a membership at the Y (which i'm still trying to bring myself to use regularly). Life is expensive and sometimes it sucks. At least I got a second job which should make me some decent money. It doesn't help that I'm getting thoroughly frustrated with the job hunt. I'm so tired of waiting tables and the restaurant i'm at doesn't help. All in all, I shouldn't complain too much. We're eating on a regular basis, we're having fun and things are great. I just wouldn't mind if someone threw a few extra grand our way : )

Caution: lots of pictures!

2007-10-02T12:10:00.000-07:00

We finally got around to getting our pictures on the computer so now everyone can enjoy!

On our first trip to Boston we bummed around the city for a few hours until we went to watch the alabama game.

thats the Commons, yanno, from make way for duckings! Sadly, there were no ducklings but it was pretty.

Mike's Pastry, the most amazing cannolis in the world. we made a mess but they were so so good.

We also luckily got tickets to the last Yankees/Red Sox game of the season.

yup, i was there. it was pretty much a religious experience.

the game. I screamed my head off, but we still lost, which is okay because we're still going to the playoffs!

right foul pole. thats pretty much where we were sitting, except a little farther up. we're pretty darn cute huh?

last, but not least.

Patrick bought me a stuffed Wally. Thats him on my head under the street sign. Religious experience, i'm telling you.

I've also started a new job, bartending, but still a new job. I trained on sunday and then tonight and tomorrow. its decent and some extra income because lord knows we need it. the never ending search for a big girl job has exhausted me. but i will keep going because lord knows i need something besides the service sector.

Makes me crinkle my nose

2007-09-26T19:10:00.000-07:00

So I haven't gone completely MIA. Things have been super busy and when I'm home I'm either trying to talk to people or chill out. But there's lots of catching up to do for those who are interested.

Right now I'm waiting to hear back from Barrington High School for the position of DEBATE COACH! i went in for an interview on Tuesday and it went great. I talked to the athletic director (weird) and the principal for about 30 minutes. During the interview I definitely expressed my enthusiasm and knowledge. We are really hoping this works for many reasons. The money of course, and because well, its what I've wanted to do for a long time. On the rest of the job front the restaurant....lets say leaves a bit to be desired. This month has been terribly slow and I'm not making near as much money as I should. There are a bunch of other things I'm looking into so I still feel positive about a big girl job.

At home things are exciting as we bought a couch! Its green and comfy and amazing. Should be coming in in the next few days. We also bought a fantastic rug that makes the whole living room look so much homier. And more comfortable when laying on the floor to watch tv. Right now I'm concentrating more on paying rent and other bills than decorating, but I'm also saving money up for some stuff I want. We're definitely going to take a trip to IKEA sometime soon. What a great store.

One thing I will admit I miss about living in the south is AC. Right now the whole apartment is stuffy and gross. Its not terribly hot outside, but our place is resembling a convection oven right now. Even sitting in the extra bedroom now is giving me hot flashes. While we have a fan in the living room and bedroom, everywhere else is awful. There is nothing fun about cooking dinner in oppressive heat. I kept thinking back to the night at Shoal Creek when the electricity went out and how horrible that was. Then again here I don't have to worry about keeping excessively rich people happy, its just patrick and he's easy.

I'm trying to think of other amusing and blog worthy things that have happened in the past week or so. Really it seems that I work, cook, clean and sleep these days. Even after work I don't usually go out with people to hang out. Mainly because the girl I work with the most is a raging alcoholic and although she's nice, she frightens me a bit. Downing a bottle of vodka a night is impressive but disturbing. Sure not interested in her version of hanging out on a Friday night. But we do have the Redbull Soapbox race coming up in Providence. My girlfriend Katie works for Redbull so we're going to check it out.

2007-09-12T10:45:00.000-07:00

I finally had enough money to go by the Y today and sign up. Although it leaves a little bit to be desired gym wise, it has what i need. Then again I've probably been spoiled from Alabama's rec center. What I'm excited about is taking pilates, which I've always wanted to do. I will go work out and I will be healthy!

We also finally began to put curtains up in the apartment. Last weekend I bought some at Big Lots (love that store) and Patrick put them up last night. Sadly, our kitchen is the most decorated room in the apartment. But its blue and pretty. I also decided that I am going to expand my obsession with cook books and buy some more when I have the money. That and random kitchen crap we still need. Like a potato masher and bowls and silverware.

Had by all

2007-09-11T06:43:00.000-07:00

I have slowly but surely been expanding my culinary repertoire. Sunday I bought a new cookbook, mainly because it was 20% off and the pictures were pretty. But the food looked really good and last night I made salmon cakes. Think crab cakes with canned salmon. To go with it we had roasted potatoes and salad. Pretty much I rocked it out if you overlook the fact they were a little too garlicky. Tonight I have to make some stuff up so Patrick wont be eating just PB&Js while I'm at work.

Sunday night we actually went out and did something, it was amazing. Patrick met our downstairs neighbors (the ones we thought we didn't like) and was over there when I got back from shopping sunday. They're both really cool and the guy manages a bar a few blocks away. We all trekked down there and hung out til 12. It was nice to get out of the house and hang out with other people. And we didn't have to pay full price for our drinks : )

big girl stuff

2007-09-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

So I had another job interview for a big girl job. Basically I have it if I want, the only problem is that its Americorps and only pays $160 a week. After rent that leaves me a little over $100 a month for...everything else. Pretty much we decided its not feasible with everything that we have to pay for. Patrick isn't making enough to float me this year. It makes me sad because I would love to work there and be with middle schoolers, but alas, I can't. Now I have to keep looking and going out for interviews. Thanks mom for all the big girl clothes, they're doing me well.

The other night we cooked a good southern meal. I made greens, black eyed peas and jambalaya. It was fantastic. Except next time I definitely will make the peas from scratch. Other than that, Patrick is super busy with everything starting this week and so is Michelle. We went to go visit her Monday and I will talk about that later. Right now I'm shaky from too much caffeine. yuck

Mommy!

2007-09-02T14:54:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one day! Be excited and amazed. Then again, today hasn't been the busiest day. I am about to run to the grocery store, we are out of food, again. Buying food for two people is exponentially more expensive and hasn't stopped amazing me. We need dinner and all I have is black eyed peas in a can, yum.

There is a specific reason I'm posting right now, Mom came to visit! She only could hang out for a little bit so I showed her the apartment and we walked down to Thayer to eat lunch. Asides that the place wasn't exactly as clean as I had hoped, she liked the place. To top it off she noticed our lack of microwave and gave us a check. Although I did protest I took it like a good daughter and will run gleefully to the bank on Friday then even more gleefully Saturday to Wal-Mart to get it!

She also highlighted our lack of stuff, expectedly. We have nothing on the walls in the bedroom and things are pretty sparse every where else. This put me on a mission to Google Hobby Lobby because what better place to find all that stuff I need? Did you know that Hobby Lobby is everywhere besides the North East. Well, and Oregon. This is all very frustrating. I also looked for Big Lots and learned that MA is only 3.5 miles away, huh. I'm going to check out the finances tonight and see if we can swing a couch from Big Lots if they have something, they're $100 off tomorrow. Maybe they have financing?

ROLL TIDE

2007-09-02T06:43:00.001-07:00

Yesterday might rate high on my list of strange yet great days. We got into the city around 12:30 and wandered for a little bit. We hit up Fanueil Hall, Quincy Market, at lunch in the North End and went to the Gardens to see the duckies. As soon as I get a cord for the camera we'll have some pictures of our day on the town. But the strangest thing also happened to me yesterday. We randomly ran into a guy I used to work with at Shoal Creek. We walked out of Quincy Market and he was wearing an Alabama shirt too. It took me a few seconds to realize it was him. Then it was a lot of "holy crap, how are you?" Strange, mildly interesting and mildly awkward because I didn't remember the wife's name. On top of that I walked passed someone ELSE i know. This wasn't quite as exciting, no stopping in the middle of the street for hugs. It was my debate camp lab leader from my first year at camp and i'm totally sure of it.

We ended up at the bar super early to beat the crowds and all that. Honestly we could have gotten there at 6:30 and been fine, but whatever. At the Sports Depot in Allston there were many surprises. The first one being that pitchers were $15!!!!! Never in my life! I'm used to them being mayeb $8, but usually less than that. Patrick and I almost lost it, being up here is expensive!! Another surprise, at least for me, was that the alumni group was almost all people our age. No old fogies or anything. The group included an ex-football player and his fiancee, Katie Boyd (SGA president not beauty queen). I had a class with Katie and I always liked her. Everyone else was great too. There was a lot of drinking, eating and being merry along with a great win for Alabama!! And another surprise, my friend from Women's Studies Melissa showed up! I was really glad to see her and i'm glad we can be friends again.

The only non fantastic part of the evening was the trip home. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the Sox and even more about the no hitter last night but the trip back to the train station was a nightmare. We had to wait almost 20 minutes in Allston for the green line inbound then it was absolutely packed out. We spent probably another 30ish minutes going from the green line to the red line then barely made it to south station to get our train to Providence. Somehow I ended up insanely thirsty which made me grumpy. But all in all we made it home in one piece and today should be even better than yesterday because my mom is coming!!!

If you build it they will come

2007-08-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

I had my first shift on the floor last night. Right now I'm not even sure how much money I made. Instead of having a wonderful time and charming all of my tables, I had a HORRIBLE migraine the whole night. I ended up having to go home early because I was so terribly sick. Because I left so early I only made like $90. But I'm trying again tonight and hopefully I can keep the migraine away.

In happier news I have a big girl job interivew on Monday. It sounds fantastic, the only problem is its a bit of a commute. I'm going to go in the morning and see if its worth it. 30 minutes I can do, an hour, eh, not so much. Its a case manager at a mental health non profit. Hopefully it will work out because that'd be awesome. AND we're having a little "get together" Thursday night over at the apartment. job, check. big girl job, check. friends, check. Thats what I thought.

2007-08-23T18:53:00.001-07:00

One of the best things about Providence, besides the beauty of the city and the great weather (for now at least!) is the restaurtants. We have had *almost* amazing luck with everywhere we have been. besides breakfast this sunday, which was absolutely awful, everything has been fantastic. First, Big Fish. Last night we went up to the store to eat lobster. Until Labor Day they are doing lobster happy hour, 1.25 lobster for 9.99. I had the normal steamed lobster and Patrick had baked stuffed. both were amazing. along with that I had raw oysters and we split a calamari. Earlier that day I saw one of the cooks cutting up the calamari, very fresh. Everything there is local and fresh and I love it. For lunch today,which promted this post, I went to a little place down the road from us called East Side Pockets. Its Middle Eastern food, the usual gyro, falafal, grape leaves and the like. I popped in around 12:30 and it was packed for such a small place, probably 10 people in line. I decided against my regular gyro and went for the kafta pocket. Not only was the kafkta amazing but you could add all of my favorite things on top. Tabouli, hummus AND tzikiti (probably not spelled right) sauce. Along with bannana peppers it was one of the most amazing things I have ever had. Everyone knows my dedication and true love towards the Purple Onion. It was one of our favorite places in high school and whenever I was home for college. While I didn't have the french fries, this place honestly put PO to shame. I savored the thing. Honestly the best wrap I have ever had. Along with the wrap last week we went to an Indian place down the street from us. Being the creature of habit I am I had lamb saag (for the unknowning, creamed spinich with lamb pretty much). I've eaten saag at a lot of different restaurants, its my absolute favorite. This little hole in the wall was by far the best saag I have eaten, EVER. not much was different except for the spices which I can't even begin to explain.

Being a foodie in such a unique and creative town is proving to be endlessly exciting and adventerous. Next on my list of things to check out is bubble tea, which is served at the place down the street called Tealuxe. Today I went there and had chai. Every time I turn down a new street I see another restaurant I want to try out and we haven't even made it out of Providence yet!! I could seriously eat my way through New England with no problem. Of course thinking about all this food and the wonderful restaurants makes me miss my dad. Obviously I got my love of good food from him. I can't wait til he is able to come up here and explore some of the great places I have found. I want him to be able to meet the chef at Big Fish who is super cool and try the 842390 Indian places I have found around. Maybe I'll even take him to the veggie place I found down at the end of hope street. Being this far away from home is hard. I have never done it before. Even though I am probably happier than I ever have been before, I miss my dad and the rest of my family and everyone else in the south. Its hard, but I'm having a blast!

Address and an update

2007-08-21T11:04:00.000-07:00

For everyone who wants to send me presents my new address is

39 Carrington Ave #2
Providence RI 09206

In other news, I am officially employed. I'm working at a restaurant called Big Fish. Its a great upscale seafood place where the money is pretty darn good. I really like all the people I'm working with, we even went to a party on Sunday night. They serve a white sangria that might be the most amazing thing in the whole world. The best part is the drunken peaches at the bottom. It reminded us of upscale and much more expensive hunch punch (ah, college days). We also had hog wings. Now I love me some chicken wings, I'd even consider myself somewhat of a conisseaur. When they put out hog wings I was completely confused until the chef explained what it was. It's pork on the bone and you eat it with ranch and hot sauce, A-frigging-MAZING. Simple pleasures I know, but I was completely and utterly imperssed. I ate like 6. Being at the party was almost like having friends! Or maybe having friends, because I'm getting along with everyone well.
Sunday we also went to a PawSox game in the next town over. They are the AAA team for the Red Sox. Well, baseball is baseball and it was fun. I drank beer and eavesdropped on the people sitting around us. A good time had by all. After the game Patrick had to do a fan day thingie for Brown. Hopefully he will sell lots and lots of tickets so we will be able to eat and impress his boss.

#1

2007-08-15T16:10:00.001-07:00

Patrick's in the kitchen doing dishes and I decided to start a new blog. Not like the old one, less diary more interesting things that are happening to me in this new chapter of my life. (Mom and Dad safe of course!) Unfortunately I don't have pictures quite yet of anything important, but that should be coming soon. I found a disposable camera and finished off the roll with some pictures of the apartment. Its starting to look less "we've just unpacked" and more lived in. Things are starting to feel homey, now all we need is a couch! After Patrick finishes doing the dishes we're going to go on an after dinner walk. We need it after crock pot chicken and dumplings. Speaking of we officially have gas AND cable/internet (duh, figured that out). Looking forward to a hot shower finally.